Yesterday I was talking with my friend about the expectations vs reality of motherhood. Our conversations came around to me sharing a comment I had received while about and about.
"You don't look like the haggard mom of three boys!"
Wait, what? My mind said. My mouth said. ""don't be fooled, I can clean up nice when I get the time." Win for being mildly passive aggressive.
Here's the deal. This morning I woke up, got my oldest ready for school, settled my middle child in for a few cartoons while I plug out a couple hours of work looking like this:
Granted, my fro is crooked and I definitely still have sleep caked in my eyes. But I am a boss lady. That doesn't mean to do it all I need to be dressed to the nines to handle business from home. Make-up takes time to put on, plus it makes my face break out, and wearing my "nice" clothes 24/7 is bound to get them REALLY dirty. Drool, food, snot, need I say more? (and those would just be my gifts from my almost one year old!)
But I can say this, after nearly six years of being a mommy there is one trick I swear to like religion in making myself look presentable when leaving the house with or without my passel of boys. And that trick is: Dress Thyself first.
Seriously. Even if we don't have to leave the house until 5 in the afternoon, and it means taking a quick five minute shower as they gobble up breakfast, or doing some simple make-up beautifications during nap time or slipping into my outfit two hours before I leave and throwing a sweat shirt over it all to keep it clean. I do it. Because once the bustle of getting the boys into their clothes, finding lost shoes, toothbrushes, socks, (yes in that random order because efficiency is not always a my oldest's #1 goal.) there is NO TIME for me. So I take it when I get it, even if it chopped up and portioned out.
I do this because I want to FEEL GOOD about myself. It's not about presenting that I have all my crap together and that my everyday life isn't chaos. Because it is. But I found if I take those moments for me, I feel more confident, I forget that my life is chaos and that I am a lot of times that 'haggard' mom and lets me gather my thoughts and mentally prepare to meet who ever and whatever situation I am face while I am out and about.
Mother's day is around the corner. If it's any gift I would want to give another mother. It would be moments so she FEELS GOOD about herself. About the journey she is on, about the times she has to sacrifice so she can be a mom cleaning up the spills, getting snacks, giving love, kissing owies. So she feels good about the times she's being a boss lady answering emails, making phone calls, working hard to provide for her family.
So ladies, mommies, you are doing amazing. You don't have to look haggard, but at times if that's what gets the job done...go on girl...get your haggard on and embrace being a #BossMom.