How Are You REALLY Doing? | ID Photography | Southern MN & Twin Cities Photographer

 Twin Cities - Southern MN Family & Wedding Photographer | ID Photographer

How are you doing? 

I stare down at the message displayed on my phone. A lot of answers are circling through my mind, but I tap out a quick "I'm good! How are you!?" 

Honestly, its probably the most put together train of thought I have most weeks. Its not messy. Its nice and neat and wrapped perfectly to shift the focus off of me. 

Because "me" has been a whole lot of hot mess around here lately. 4 months into 2018 and I've felt like I have been losing my ever loving mind too many times to count on a weekly (and sometimes daily) basis. Between being under prepared mentally to deal with my husband commuting home (yes I said that right.) on weekends from his new job, to managing my boys' school schedules and activities while facilitating...more like refereeing their relationships with each other and me, only to have three rounds of sickness hit us since February. 

And don't forget those...womanly issues/situations in a houseful of men. And oh yeah...this is all while running a business.

The only reason I feel comfortable sharing these tidbits with you is because my tribe has been on my butt and not letting me deal with it all on my own

In so many ways they have been making sure that I was REALLY doing ok. Circling back on my deflections, blowing up my phone with texts, voicemails and messages when they noticed I ghosted from social media yet again or hadn't called them back or made an effort to engage with them as I usually do. Some have even going so far as to contact my husband to confirm I was ok and making plans to send my family cookies just because. Or even sending me pictures of shirts that show my well-known and documented love for all things connect to margaritas and tacos.  I felt their care and concern and willingness to keep me sane.

Because I really haven't been ok. I've been taking it day by day and learning new things about myself in the process. 

Most women and moms all go through this feeling.  We're so used to being SuperMom or the ultimate Lady Boss that it becomes easier to dash out the easy answer of "I'm good" versus taking the offered opening to release and unload on someone who is offering to listen and give advice and reassurance. Being who you needed them to be when you gave them the title of FRIEND. 

My point in all this rambling is when that friend asks you " How are you doing?" When you respond give them the REAL truth. Because how they support you through knowing all those "real" details, really shows why you NEED them as your friends when life comes at you faster than your kids when you say they can have some candy. Don't shy away from them. Let them help you. Its a sure fire to I know that you'll really be ok.