After almost 12 years with a man I love dearly, it is still amazing to me that I am discovering the layers of love, the MEANING of love.
When I used to work with college students sometimes our conversations would turn to relationships and figuring out the great mystery of WHAT IS LOVE. In these chats I would always make sure to touch on a really key point of love and how great relationships work.
It takes HARD WORK. Because people have layers, so does love. And some of those layers don't get peeled back until a situation comes along to expose them.
Like my husband. I love the man. I knew who I was marrying. But I didn't KNOW who I was marrying.
I didn't know, that my heart fall even deeper when we had our first miscarriage and the depth of his mourning was so deep. I didn't know that my heart would fall even deeper when I lost my job and HE encouraged me to take my photography business to the next level and has never waivered in his support of me being my own boss.
I didn't know, so I prepared myself for the work of love. Taming my annoyance at the little things (seriously, the man has blinders when it some to locating a trash can.) Learning that for every situation that makes me fall out of love, I need find another moment that makes me fall right back in.
And then eventually I did know. Like when he gave me a day to myself, to get my nails done, go shopping, whatever I wanted. And I called him a gallzion times. Just to talk, or get his opinion on something and he finally said.
"Stop calling me. Focus on YOU."
Or three weeks ago as we were wallowing deep in preparing our taxes and looking the truth of our finances straight in the eye trying not to dread the whole process, my friends and I had the conversation about how hard finances can be on our relationships. I picked up my phone can called my man and said.
"Babe, I know we are not were we want to be financially, but I have to say, if we have to go through this crap, I am glad I get to do it with you."
He laughed and said. "You see babe, I've been telling you how GOOD of a man I am to you."
And there went my grateful heart slipping right out of love with this man in an you-irritate-me-a-lot, but-I-still-love-you moment.
But in all honesty, on this day that is ALL ABOUT LOVE. I am reminded of all the life moments, situations that this man works to love me and have peeled back the layers of love that I have for him.
Photography by Elanem